Acceptance, rejection, balance

, 9:05 AM PDT.

I’ve just finished interviewing for my dream job. My blog is small and secret, but I don’t want to name the team/company directly; I don’t know if I got the job yet. I’m feeling extremely proud of my performance, though!

A lot is riding on this. Well, OK, just my ego. I’m still fully employed at Microsoft and pretty happy in my current role. I received an informal offer from another team at Microsoft less than 36 hours after I applied for my dream job. This other team, who we’ll call Awesome Team, was awesome. I didn’t expect an offer so quickly, and I was elated. At that point, I wasn’t sure if I’d even be a genuine candidate for my dream job.

Awesome Team gave me a formal offer about a week ago. I really wanted to just take it. Work to make it a promotion, maybe, because I’m certainly overdue for one of those, but otherwise, well, it’s a bird in the hand. But the bush! Look at those birds in the bush! Those are my dream birds, birds I never thought I’d see in all my days, let alone after barely 5 years of professional coding!

I turned down the formal offer. The primary reason was simple: I didn’t want to waste Awesome Team’s time. They needed an awesome candidate, and the longer I kept them waiting, the more likely they would lose someone they had already interviewed. I had also just received a text from the dream job’s hiring manager mentioning his direct report was “definitely impressed” and they were “trying to fast track” me. Less than an hour later, I was invited to formally interview. He had followed up on his word, and I needed to dedicate myself to this opportunity if I really wanted to get it. Logistically, I could’ve kept Awesome Team waiting, juggled negotiations and interview prep, and played it safe. That would’ve been a bit selfish, but nobody would’ve faulted me.

I do not want to be a selfish man.

The interviews wrapped barely 16 hours ago. Since then, I’ve resolved multiple critical incidents on my team (I’m on-call this week! I broke something last night!) and slept about 6 hours. I’m feeling well-rested, and of course I’ve been thinking about this job in every moment I’m not thinking about the ongoing war in Iran. I’ve read nearly every BBC live update, but I’ve missed a good number these past few days, and I haven’t checked yet this morning (it’s 8:45 AM for me).

I’m writing now because there’s a sliver of a chance I get the decision on my dream job today, and I want to record this before I know the long-term outcome.

If I don’t get this job, I’ll apply for others, I’ll get one eventually, and that’ll be that. I’ll try to keep in touch with the folks I interviewed with, if it’s possible and reasonable, but only because they’re good people working on fun problems. Networking is just friendship with ulterior motives, and I really don’t like ulterior motives. If something comes up and I can interview with that team again, great, probably, unless I’ve found something else dreamy. If I work at a less-than-dream job for the rest of my career, also great. I’ve been on the same team for over 5 years now, the team I was hired into, the team I’ve never left. The people here are amazing. I can certainly make do with whatever God gives me. I’m thriving on this team, but I’m searching for new opportunities, and I know now that they’re out there.

I’m going to find one, mostly for the fun of it!

If I don’t get this job, the ego bruise will be awkward. The bird in the hand was set free, the birds in the bush got away, and now I have to search again. But I’ve already learned a ton about interview prep, and going through two rounds of interviews has taught me how the real world asks questions, which is invaluable. I’ve been able to help multiple other friends who are also interviewing, and I’ve gotten better at asking for help, especially in my weakest areas.

Yes, I could’ve kept the whole “bird in the hand” situation secret so nobody knew how dumb I was. But that’s not how we learn! We try things, we fail, we succeed, we reflect, we commit to publishing even if the results are boring or embarrassing!

I’m feeling good. No matter what happens, I know I’ll be OK.

Thank you for reading, and may peace be with you 🤓

See also Blog - markwiemer.com